I am one of those rare people. The type that believes that ladies do not sweat, burp, fart or make any bodily functions that would bring tears to your eyes. I was taught by my nana that ladies to not whistle, spit, or curse. I try very hard to maintain a ladylike demeanor. And heaven forbid I did let a bodily function happen, I'd deny it til I was blue in the face.
Now, that said, allow me to tell you a story.
It was a typical evening. Dinner picked up on the way home from work. One of the roommates in the living. The loving couple in the bedroom talking about their day. Nothing at all out of the ordinary. Mr. was laying on the bed, and in typical spoiled girl fashion, Miss. was sitting on his stomach. (Please note, they were both clothed, this is a G rated story after all) While talking and laughing about the daily stress, Mr. thought it would be funny to start tickling Miss. Amid shrieks of "PLEASE STOP!" and giggles that even the roommate could hear, it happened.
She couldn't stop it. She knew it was going to happen and there was nothing short of death that could put an end to it.
Miss. Farted!
Hoping to God, Buddha, Zeus, Allah and every other deity in the world that Mr. had missed it, Miss' eyes got wide and her face got red. The look on Mr.s' face said that he hadn't missed it. How could he when the vibrations were right on his stomach.
It took only seconds before Mr. went from shocked to crying with laughter. He was trying to run for the door to tell the roommate. He had proof now, that Miss., ladylike little Miss., was in fact human!
It was only because of the tears coming from Miss. (embarrassment, fear, sadness) that kept Mr. from telling the whole world. And while they, of course, were able to move past the little indiscretion, Mr. never let Miss. forget what happened when she would try and be her prissy self.
The end!
Now please note, this is just a fiction story. I mean, it couldn't possibly be about me. After all, a lady like me never passes gas!
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